Nisem popolna mama.

Ves dan moram skrbeti za Johana, se učiti, hiša pa mora biti vedno pospravljena. Za povrh pravijo, da si moraš seveda vzeti tudi čas zase, na partnerja pa itak ne smeš pozabiti. Poleg tega naj bi se vsako noč še kvalitetno naspala in vsak dan skuhala 3 bioekoorganske obroke za Johana.

Ja itak!… To pač ni mogoče. Treba si je jasno postaviti prioritete. Če bo Johan moral zato, da se bova lahko pol ure več igrala, pojesti kupljen obrok, ga pač bo. Zadovoljna jaz, zadovoljen otrok, pa še kuhinja ostane čista. Na začetku materinstva sem se z vsem preveč obremenjevala, potem pa sem spoznala, da se tako pač ne bo izšlo.

Nobena mama ni popolna, tudi če morda na zunaj tako izgleda. Otroci ne potrebujejo popolne mame, pač pa mamo, ki je človeška; mamo, ki dela napake in se iz njih uči, ki ni vedno srečna, ampak zna otroku pokazati, da se da vsako težavo rešiti. Otrok tudi ne potrebuje staršev, ki se nikoli ne skregajo, ampak take, ki znajo svoje težave rešiti. In tudi če tu in tam otrok poje piškot ali malo čipsa, mu ne bo hudega. Treba je pač najti srednjo pot, se odločiti, katere so v danem trenutku tvoje prioritete.

Raje vidim, da Johan enkrat tedensko poje nekaj kupljenega, saj to zame pomeni več časa, mogoče grem lahko prej spat, ker je kuhinja čista in lahko se za pol ure več posvetim Johanu. Nikoli ne bo vse popolno, pa če se še tako trudiš. In zato se držim besed Nepopolne mame (klik); “Sem popolna mama? Ne. Se vsaj vedno trudim biti popolna mama? Tudi to ne.”

Naše stanovanje ni vedno pospravljeno, ne skuham vsak dan treh zdravih obrokov, tudi učim se ne v takem tempu, kot bi se mogoče morala. Imam pa srečnega otroka. Najbolj je vesel, ko me vidi, nikoli ni lačen, in če tudi ima večino časa na sebi dve različni nogavici, mu nikoli ni mraz. Imam tudi partnerja, ki me ljubi in skrbi zame, starše, ki me podpirajo, sestro, ki je moja najboljša prijateljica. To je zame popolno.

Vsem vam želim popolno-nepopolen dan,

Melita Ivana xx.

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I have to take care of Johan 24/7, study and the house has to look perfect all the time. They say you also need to take time for yourself and of course take care of your relationship too. You also need 8 hours of sleep every night and cook three bioecoorganic meals a day.

Yeah, in your dreams! In reality that does not work. You need to make priorities. If Johan needs to eat a store bought meal in order for us to have more time to play, so be it. Happy mom, happy baby and a clean kitchen. I used to get really stressed about everything, but I soon realized that there is no use in that.

No mom is prefect, even if it maybe looks so. Kids don’t need a perfect mom. They need a real mom, a mom who learns from her mistakes, a mom who does not try to be happy all the time, but shows to her kids, that every problem can be solved. Kids also don’t need parents who never argue, but parents who manage to make up. And even if your kid eats a cookie or some chips once in a while he’s going to be okay. You need to find a middle ground and decide what are your priorities.

I’d rather see Johan eating takeaway with me once a week, if that means we have more time to play or that I can go to sleep earlier because I don’t have to clean the kitchen. Life will never be perfect, no matter how hard you try. So I go by “Nepopolna mama‘s” words; “Am I a perfect mother? No. Do I at least try to be one? No.”

Our home is not always perfectly clean, I don’t always cook three healthy meals a day and I haven’t yet finished school. But I do have a happy child. He is the happiest when he sees me, he is never hungry, and even though he never wears matching socks, he is never cold. I also have a partner that loves me and takes care of me, I have parents who support me and I have a sister who is my best friend. And that is perfect to me.

I wish you all a perfectly-imperfect day, 

Melita Ivana xx.

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